Dancing Drunken Shrimp & Heated Toilet Seats (January 2002)

I thought that title would get your attention...
Greetings from Mumbai, India. I am here on the final
leg of my 9-day circle Asia business trip. I wrote
the following travelogue as I was flying at 31,000
feet upper-deck business class on a JAL 747-400 from
Tokyo to Singapore on Monday. Sidenote: JAL's
inflight entertainment system features two video
channels with forward and downward facing "bird's eye"
cameras. They display the forward camera during
takeoff and landing. The cameras must be mounted in
the nose cone. Very cool!

Anyway, back to the shrimp. I arrived in Tokyo last
Thursday afternoon for a meeting with Japan Airlines
on Friday. Thursday evening, my Crossair vice
president and I were invited to dinner by a
representative of the Swiss Embassy in Tokyo. He
selected a traditional Chinese restaurant and
pre-ordered a special 9-course, sushi menu. After 2-3
of the light appetizer courses, a clear, covered glass
Pyrex bowl was placed at our table with five live
shrimp (one for each person). A waiter soon arrived
and proceeded to pour a high-alcohol content liquor
over the shrimp, causing them to flop about and become
drunk. A couple of minutes later, a waitress
returned, took the shrimp aside and proceeded to
remove their tail scales (gives new meaning to the
phrase "being skinned alive") and brought them back to
the table on individual plates. I looked down at my
little critter as he wiggled ever so lightly in his
euphoric, inebriated state state. I was told that one
should grab the tail in one hand, and the head in the
other, and bite the center tail section. I, along
with two of my dining companions, decided NOT to
partake. I try to keep an open mind, especially when
dining as a guest in a foreign culture, and in
principle, I enjoy sushi, but NOT when it's still
squirming before my very eyes!

Relieved that I had not lost face through this ordeal,
I was pleased to see the waitress take my shrimp away,
returning him, fully grilled, a few minutes later.
Much better!

Ok, on to the bathroom humor. Please bear with me, as
this is funny, not gross. I spent Sunday with my
Thunderbird alumni friend Lisa, who lives in Tokyo.
She and I enjoyed a leisurely walk along the external
perimeter of the Imperial Palace in central Tokyo.
After a while, we decided to have a coffee. We
stopped at the Palace Hotel and I excused myself to
use the facilities. As I stepped into a stall in the
men's room, I saw a peculiar-looking toilet seat with
a side attachment, bearing lights and curious buttons.
I immediately recalled a former American Airlines
colleague mentioning these unique Japanese toilet
seats. First, when one sits down, one is enveloped in
a ring of warmth -- yes, they are heated! Next, when
one is done with one's business, one can press a
button and receive a light, refreshing spritz of warm
water (think bidet for men) There were a couple other
buttons as well, but the writing was all in Japanese,
so I decided not to venture further. I figured one
was probably a blow dryer (ooo!), and the other a
buff-n-shine wax (my car should be so lucky at the car
wash!) I was thankful that the model upon which I was
seated did not include a spin-dry cycle button!

I emerged a few minutes later. I think the sly grin
on my face gave it away. I told Lisa that I couldn't
believe what a holistic lavatory episode I had just
experienced. She laughed and said "Oh yeah, we have
one at home too!" When we returned to her place, I
asked to borrow her digital camera to procure evidence
of this Japanese technological marvel for my doubtless
unbelieving friends in the West. But wait -- Lisa's
home commode went one step better: It included a
remote control!! I asked, dumbfoundedly "Do you ever
bother to LEAVE your bathroom when you're at home???"
I half expected to find a burger & fries button on the
remote control unit! My, my, my, we in the West have
such a long way to catch up!

As promised, attached are two digital pics which
provide proof of this plumbing miracle.

Vive la WC!

Mark